Ah-HA

Yeah, so here I am again. Things are going well; I helped Stef move into her apartment last week. Made a date to grab lunch with her on Thursday. Or is it a date? I don't really know, and I think it's kind of crass to ask. I don't really know what we are, but I'm trying not to obsess over that too much. I don't know if she knows what we are, or if she's interested in me or a relationship period. I mean, there's some things you can sort of guess...like, I'm pretty sure she doesn't HATE me. But there is, of course, a pretty fine line between not hating someone and liking that person in a romantic sense. But then, maybe it won't even end up being romantic, maybe we'll just be friends.

That would kinda suck.

I tend to agree with the statement made in When Harry Met Sally, that men and women can't be friends because sex always gets in the way. I don't know if I'd say they can't be friends, but I do think that sex is always present in relationships with people of the sex whom you're attracted to (I would have said opposite sex, but not everyone's attracted to the opposite sex, I guess). You can work past it, but if you become really close with someone, I think people tend to fuse their feelings of emotional comfort with those of romantic love. Or maybe it's not even fusing. That doesn't really make sense. And then, there are also situations where people can be friends and not be attracted to each other in the least. Or are they attracted and maybe not realizing/admitting it? Anyways, the process of becoming very good friends with someone means that you get to see them at their worst and at their best, and it can be very hard not to see things to admire and appreciate - or else why are you friends with that person? Of course, then you also run into the problem of falling into the dreaded friend zone, which sucks ass.

I watched the Tao of Steve recently; it's a cute little movie. There were a number of interesting things said, though I'm not quite sure how I feel about them. The movie is all about this guy who, though out of shape and a huge slacker/pot head, manages to sleep with all sorts of women. His name, contrary to what you might think, isn't Steve; Steve is the name for the cool everyman, the Steve McQueens of the world who exude cool and sex appeal. The tao (way) of Steve is how to be like that, and attract women: to not overtly desire, to be "excellent" in front of them, and not to be their friend. Of course, in the movie he meets the "one", this girl he falls for and tosses all this aside for, which is mostly the usual Hollywood line, and also neatly allows him to negate the whole tao of Steve he had previously espoused.

I don't really want that, but I guess I just wonder sometimes how some people can be so confident and seem so knowing when it comes to dating. Then again, maybe nobody really is, outside of Hollywood scripts. I'm just trying really hard to relax and let things happen as they come. I just hope I don't end up missing an opportunity while I'm waiting for something to happen.