What do I want?

So I sat and chatted with Stef for a while today - in the afternoon and later in the evening (though that was just pure chance - we got back up here at the same time and I saw her in the station).

First of all, she was upset because I went to her play, which I guess she wasn't feeling very proud of. We talked about that for a bit - I said I wanted to see a) her work and b) her. That seemed to mollify her a bit. I could understand not being happy with the production, but I said that as a fellow actor, I know what it's like being in productions you're not proud of...I know the things you, as a single actor, can't control around you. In situations like that, all you can do is take care of your own work and do the best you can do, which I thought she did. I think it all got smoothed out - the fact that she sat and chatted with me for quite a while longer seemed to indicate the same.

Anyways, near the end of the conversation she asked me, "What do you want from me?" It sort of caught me by surprise, mainly because that's usually the kind of thing you hear through sobbing tears just before a door slams in your face or the phone gets hung up. But in her case, she meant it as a straight up question. I've been reading up on Scorpios and Sagittariuses (is that the plural?), and I've read that they're both shockingly honest. I guess that was my first demonstration of that aspect of her. Anyways, I responded as best I could - that I didn't really know what I wanted from her yet, because I didn't really know her all that well yet. I didn't say that I was interested in pursuing something, because I figured that was sort of a given. She seems to be coming from a difficult place, and the last thing I want to do is pressure her into anything.

I really think (maybe it's hope...maybe it's a bit of both) she could be someone special in my life. I don't want to tell her yet because I don't want that hanging over her. If she's going to be with me, I want her to decide that...I hope I'm not making a mistake in not saying it to her. I don't think I am.