Thursday, November 10, 2005

Bored out my skull

Yes, I am bored.

Finished the Cary Grant bio, it was good. Would love to get some more about other icons from that era, but not really sure where to start or which ones are good. Ideally I'd love Jimmy Stewart, Grace Kelly or Marilyn, because they're my other favorites from that era...I don't know if there's any out on the first two and there's too damn much written about Marilyn, so not quite sure what I'm going to do there.

The new nerdy obsession is Admiral Horatio Nelson, of the Battle of Trafalgar fame. Who would be interested in something odd like that, you ask? Me, goddammit. DON'T JUDGE ME.

It's funny, the reason why I picked this one was because every time I walked through the biography section at the Barnes and Noble at Lincoln Center, this book would be sitting with its cover facing out and it would catch my eye every time - the cover is a close-up on the face of a portrait of Nelson. So kudos to whoever put that on the cover. You bastard.

Oh, I know something else I can talk about: my most recent iTunes purchase. Jason Robert Brown is, in my opinion, the best young songwriter on Broadway. That cd is actually a collection of songs he wrote and performed himself. He isn't the strongest singer, but he's acceptable...and it's really more about the lyric anyways, as most musical theater since the 70s tends to be. The three best songs on there, in my opinion, of course (and seeing as how this is my blog, that's the only one that matters), are "Someone to Fall Back On", "Nothing in Common" and "I Could Be In Love With Someone Like You", though I'm starting to hate that last one now for having such a long goddamn name. "Someone to Fall Back On" and the third one (I refuse to even copy-paste that travesty of a title) are about relationships, and "Nothing in Common" is actually about his brother. Here's a bit of the lyric to "Someone to Fall Back On":

...and I'll be that
I'll take your side
if I'm the only one i'm used to that
I've been alone i'd rather be
the half of us
the least of you
the best of me
and I'll be your prince
I'll be your saint
I will go crashing through fences in your name
I will, I swear I'll be someone to fall back on
I'll be the one who waits
and for as long as you let me I will be the one you need
I'll be someone to fall back on, your prince, your saint
the one you believe you need I'll be

Thinking about why I like the song so much, I actually have kind of a love-hate relationship with it. I mean, what he expresses in it is/was the way I looked at relationships, and what I wanted to be in a relationship. But I'm also tired of having that being taken advantage of, or taken for granted. Not to mention it frequently lands you nothing but a big trip to the friend zone, which just sucks. I don't want to be the one who waits anymore, the one who's always there for you. I have my shit that I want to take care of, and maybe for once I want to be pursued a bit, to feel like the other person is as interested in getting to know me as I am in getting to know her. That's what frustrates me about Stef a bit, actually - she says she likes hanging out with me and wants to get to know me better, and then she barely fucking calls. And yes, she's busy with class and job and, you know, her relationship (heh), but still. Friendships and relationships are both two way streets, and I'm tired of always being the one to compromise.

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