Happy Tired

Long day of shooting today, about 12 hours in total counting travel time. Like I've said though, it's nice being on this schedule. It's what you train for and aspire to, after all. Another hour or two tomorrow, some more assorted stuff on Friday and then a monster day on Sunday that I know will leave me sore for the next week and then these 3 episodes will be in the can.

I'm enjoying To the Lighthouse, and am finding it to actually be a relatively quick read. I think a part of that has to do with my reading style meshing with the writing style. I'm a quick reader, and when I read I tend to skim pretty quickly, picking out the major details and moving on. Sometimes that can lead to missed details, but when I encounter stuff like that I usually just scan back and re-read until I find it. To the Lighthouse, since it's written in such a stream-of-consciousness style, is filled with all these little digressions and tangents which probably could be critically analyzed to death (which would also, in my opinion, be tedious as hell), but since I'm mostly skimming as it is, I get them all in a flood, much in the way thoughts run, so I find it pretty comprehensible. Granted, sometimes there are passages where I have to slow down, or re-read a few times to make sure I'm following the thought, but it's (in my opinion, so far) a far more accessible work than Ulysses.

There is, I think, a darkness in the book that probably permeates all of her work, judging from the way her life turned out. It's like every character, especially the women, is screaming on the inside, screaming and hoping that someone, somewhere will hear and understand. There're all so repressed and constrained by the expectations of themselves and others that there's a fundamental disconnect, one that no character is completely able to bridge (so far).

I don't know how I feel about that. I think it's true, but maybe it doesn't have to be so depressing. Maybe that core of solitude can be something to be celebrated, the individual spark that makes us us, and even if others can't understand it, they can appreciate it - if you are willing to share it with them, to take that chance and open yourself. I'm not saying to do that with everyone you meet, but when you meet people special enough to be open and honest with, you can't be afraid, and you can't hold back.