Blog Wars!

A'ight. Peep this, yo (haha...pee-p). So you guys know the Time Warner Center, right? Y'know the entrance on the north-eastern corner, close to Pink? There's rotary doors, and beside them there's conventional doors in case fatties get stuck in the rotary ones or something.

Our protagonist - a young, striking Asian - goes walking through the rotary doors enroute to Whole Foods for some munchings and crunchings. As he rotates, he notices a gentleman walking through the normal door to the side and staring at him. Now, this young man can sometimes be a Bear of Very Little Brain when it comes to names and faces. It's something he's grown accustomed to over the years. He thinks to himself, "Gee, maybe I met this guy at a party or something," and gives the universal, "guy nod."

On the other side of the doors, dudey dude dude approaches, offering his hand. Holy shit, the Asian thinks to himself, I must have met this guy somewhere, sometime and totally forgotten him. Hands are shaken.

"How's it going?" the stranger asks.

"Pretty good."

"You're looking good."

"Oh...thanks." Brain cells are whirring, trying frantically to remember who the hell this guy is and where they might have encountered each other, blotting out the possibility of any other thoughts. Some other bullshit pleasantries are exchanged, forgotten in a frantic whirl of every social event attended in the past few months. Finally, something breaks through this fog:

"So...do you have a girlfriend?"

"...nnnooooo..." Ok. This is a bit weird. Who just up and asks that, acquaintance or not? Finally, a hint of an idea starts to dawn on our young hero: is this guy.......? Noooooooooooooooo. But could he be?

"I just ask because these days, you know, you never know if people like girls or boys or whatever."

"Uh...yeah...I mean, you know, people should be free to love whoever they want." Holy crap, I think he is.

"And I was just thinking, you looked so good, and I just really wanted to kiss you."

HOLY SHIT! I NEED TO REMEMBER EVERY SECOND OF THIS CONVERSATION SO I CAN REPEAT IT TO BEST FEMALE FRIEND.

"Uh...wow...thanks, that's really flattering, but I'm not really interested."

"Are you sure? You've never even wanted to try it?"

"...no..." Jesus, can't you just let it drop? How the hell can I extricate myself from this politely? I've seen what angry gays can do and it ain't pretty and this is the fucking Time Warner Center, it's a goddamn public place, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

"...we could just go find a bathroom somewhere in here, you know, and..."

Blink. A bathroom? Ok, first of all, NO, damnit, and second of all, EW. I mean, I know that's what goes on, but for fuck's sake...EW!

"..........no."

And he escapes down the escalator! The crowd goes wild! And our hero fumbles for his phone to make the loudest sober phone call of his life.

Take that, Pook.