Commenting Fun

I was going to post this as a comment on Nice Guys Finish Last, but (like many of the comments I set out to type and eventually delete due to length), it was starting to get way too long, so I figured I'd just post it over here and then link over to it so it might be a bit better formatted for reading instead of squished into the little comment box.

Do women judge men on their looks? Of course they do. Do men judge women on theirs? Of course they do. I don't really buy the "Men are interested in exteriors, women in interiors," argument because it has more to do with the individual in question and their priorities. Humans are animals, and an animal's first attraction to (or lack thereof) and judgements of each other are always physical, no matter what the specific set of characteristics is that a given animal finds attractive. Would I dismiss someone based on how they dressed? Not outright, but the way you dress can make the difference between someone thinking you're cute and striking up a conversation and passing by.

Now...coming to style. More than almost anything else, I think style is an incredibly personal thing. In many ways, it has more to do with how you carry yourself than what you're actually wearing. The biggest mistake most guys (and some girls) make, in my opinion, is not buying stuff that fits properly (which contributes to looking slobby, as opposed to stylishly casual). Understand that buying big, baggy clothing doesn't hide any perceived body issues you might have (over/underweight); in fact, it exacerbates it, as it falls unflatteringly if you're overweight and makes you look even smaller if you're underweight. Probably 7 out of 10 or more of the guys I see walking down the street in jeans could stand to go down a waist size or two. I remember reading this article in some magazine (I think it was a gay-oriented magazine, actually) a few months ago talking about the rise in designer jeans, jeans that cost $250 and up, and the author noted how straight guys would check length and how the crotch looked, but completely ignore how the jeans made their ass look, resulting in them buying jeans which bunched up in the back and generally did nothing for whatever junk they might have had (and if you think women don't check out men's asses, you either haven't asked or your friends are liars). Obviously this isn't a scientific survey or study or anything, but next time you're walking around, keep an eye out and see how many guys walking around are swimming in their pants (not counting people who are going for that look).

I don't really know what else to say; I mean, it sounds so egotistical to say, "I have style." I take care of myself, I put effort into my look, but my sense of style does not appeal to everyone. Guess what, though: that's ok. Don't think that you absolutely have to run out and buy suit pants and button-ups galore; honestly, though I l-o-v-e getting niced up in a suit, there is nothing I abhor more in the city than all the bougie motherfuckers running around in their khakis or slacks and button-ups, all thinking they're hot shit, looking like carbon copies of each other and complete morons. Seriously, they're worse than hipsters. As an aside, there's also an interesting backlash starting against the metrosexual man (at least among the girls I know), but that might be a topic for another post. Ask yourself, who do you want to be, and who is attracted to the kinds of guys that dress that way? Do you really want some superficial hipster bitch who thinks Paris Hilton is someone to be emulated? Or a trophy girlfriend who's only interested in the size of your bankroll?

Take some time, read some books, grab some GQ issues and learn the ropes of style. There's nothing wrong with jeans and a t-shirt, you see it in ads all the time. What sets the people in those ads aside from Joe Blow on the street is how the shit fits. Granted, they're models and are paid because someone considers them attractive or distinctive, but if you want to look like that, hit the gym like everyone else (or become a coke/heroin addict...heh). Girls have to do it, so I see no reason why guys shouldn't. Once you've got the basics down, don't be afraid to take chances or to follow your personal tastes. Do you, and quit worrying so much about what others think; you can't please everyone all the time, after all. So fuck em.